What I saw that night is all I ever need to believe

We were one week into our first India tour with Clowns Without Borders Sweden. We had performed in schools for children living below the poverty line, we had performed for communities of homeless families, and we had performed in juvenile prisons. After one week I thought that I had seen all the darkness there was to be witnessed, but also all hope in the laughter of a child who has forgotten all sorrows and worries for a while.

But that day, we were to visit a center for children in Kamathipura, Mumbai.

Kamathipura is one of the biggest red-light districts in Asia. We were told that more than 100 000 prostitutes live there, many of them trafficked from Nepal.

We were to visit a support center for girls born in the brothels - girls who were children of women who had been trafficked from Nepal; children who would hide under the bed while their mothers were exploited; children who had no other future than to become prostitutes once they were teenagers.

I will never forget these girls' laughs during our show, because how they laughed! Ten years have passed, but I still remember their faces so clearly, shining like little stars as the sun set over Mumbai.

The year after, we went there on another tour. And then another. And then another… On the fourth tour, we were told that the girls had a request - they wanted us to perform for their mothers, “because many of them have never seen their mothers laugh.”

Never in my life shall I forget the shrieks of happiness from the audience as we entered the stage, and the kids knew exactly what show they were about to see had in store for them. I saw women who claimed that they can’t remember the last time they felt happiness roll on the floor laughing. I saw women - tiny, and tired from the life they lived - who held their children high up just to let them see the clowns.

I am not a religious person.

I don’t have a God.

But what I saw that night is all I ever need to believe.

And just when I thought that I had witnessed all the miracles that could take place in one evening - it turned out that some of the girls would also perform! They had been guided by a local drama teacher once a week, and in between, they had rehearsed on their own. What a show they put up! It was a clown version of a classic Indian folk tale. I can only imagine what the mothers went through as they saw their daughters perform.

There are moments that live on forever. There are deeds that echo far beyond what you can ever imagine. And there are some impacts that shake your entire world.

Ten years have passed. The girls that were just kids when we performed that day are now teenagers and young adults. They have kept practicing and performing. They have toured remote Indian villages and managed to reach tens of thousands of children even during the pandemic. They have performed in Sweden and Poland and now become role models for the next generation of girls who grow up in Kamathipura. Hundreds of girls that used to say, “when I grow up, I want to run my own brothel so that I can have power and money” are now saying, “when I grow up I want to be a clown and make my mother laugh.”

And as for me - the world is still shaking.

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